Family is for love, not fear. Seneca, Epistles 5.47.13-17
Seneca
imagines haughty Roman nobles objecting to the free and friendly
approach to slaves that he is recommending to Lucilius. Imagines and
dismisses them.
Hoc
loco acclamabit mihi tota manus delicatorum
nihil hac re humilius, nihil turpius. Hos
ego eosdem deprehendam alienorum servorum osculantes manum. Ne illud
quidem videtis, quam omnem invidiam maiores nostri dominis, omnem
contumeliam servis detraxerint? Dominum patrem familiae
appellaverunt, servos, quod etiam in mimis adhuc durat, familiares;
instituerunt diem festum, non quo solo cum servis domini vescerentur,
sed quo utique; honores illis in domo gerere, ius dicere permiserunt
et domum pusillam rem publicam esse iudicaverunt.
Quid
ergo? omnes servos admovebo mensae meae? Non
magis quam omnes liberos. Erras si existimas me quosdam quasi
sordidioris operae reiecturum, ut puta illum mulionem et illum
bubulcum. Non ministeriis illos aestimabo sed moribus: sibi quisque
dat mores, ministeria casus assignat.
Quidam
cenent tecum quia digni sunt, quidam ut sint; si quid enim in illis
ex sordida conversatione servile est, honestiorum convictus excutiet.
Non est, mi Lucili, quod amicum tantum in foro et in curia quaeras:
si diligenter attenderis, et domi invenies.
Saepe
bona materia cessat sine artifice: tempta et experire. Quemadmodum
stultus est qui equum empturus non ipsum inspicit sed stratum eius ac
frenos, sic stultissimus est qui hominem aut ex veste aut ex
condicione, quae vestis modo nobis circumdata est, aestimat.
Servus
est. Sed
fortasse liber animo.
Servus est. Hoc
illi nocebit?
Ostende
quis non sit: alius libidini servit, alius avaritiae, alius
ambitioni, omnes timori (†).
Dabo
consularem aniculae servientem, dabo ancillulae divitem, ostendam
nobilissimos iuvenes mancipia pantomimorum: nulla servitus turpior
est quam voluntaria. Quare non est quod fastidiosi isti te deterreant
quominus servis tuis hilarem te praestes et non superbe superiorem:
colant potius te quam timeant.
Here
all the dandies will interrupt me: “Nothing more humiliating than
this! Nothing fouler!” These
same fops I will later find kissing the hands of servants who don't
belong to them. Don't
you see how our ancestors have simultaneously denied all disdain to
masters, and to servants all disrespect? They named the master father
of the family,
and the servants they identified as its members,
his familiars—a
designation that endures to this day in the theater. They created our
holidays so that masters and servants might eat together regularly
all the time, not reserving this indulgence for single occasions.
They permitted masters to give servants honor in the home, to
pronounce judgment for them, and even went as far as deeming the home
a small republic.
“What
then? Shall I move all the servants to my own table?” Just as you
do with your children. You are mistaken if you think I am going to
reject any of mine because he happens to have a dirty job, like
driving mules or ploughing with oxen. I don't judge them by their
work, but by their character: every man gives himself habits, on
purpose; our jobs come from chance. Let the worthy men of your house
eat with you, who or whatever they happen to be. If
there is anything servile or cunning in them that comes from living
hard and low, then sharing the conversation of more fortunate and
forthright folk will strike that from their character. I
would not have you seek friends only in the forum or the courts, dear
Lucilius: if you pay proper attention, you will find them at home.
Often,
good stuff languishes and goes to waste without a craftsman there to
work it: prove and test the people around you. How foolish is the man
who goes to buy a horse without inspecting the animal, preferring to
stare at its saddle and reins. Even
so,
the stupidest man of all judges another person only by his clothes or
his
social
condition, which surrounds and shrouds each of us like a garment.
“He
is a servant, a slave.” But perhaps his spirit is free. “He is a
servant.” Will this harm him? Show me who isn't a servant. One man
serves his pleasure, another his greed, another his ambition, and all
serve fear. I'll show you servants. Here I give you a former consul,
serving his granny. Now I offer a rich man who dotes on his
chambermaid, and now our noblest youth, who serve the professional
dancers—slaves.
No low
service is more
shameful than the one we choose voluntarily. So our disgusted dandies
have no business deterring you from adopting a cheerful camaraderie
with your servants, as opposed to their own excessive arrogance. Let
the help love you, rather than fear you.
---
(†)
Macrobius has spei
(hope)
rather than timori
(fear).