Failing to desire God. Unamuno, Life 8.25
Unamuno
consistently portrays mankind as a tragic battle between the head,
which is rational, and the heart, which is not. A good head might
entertain rational arguments whose proper logical conclusion is a
denial of God's existence, Unamuno thinks, but a good heart longs for
life and consciousness, wanting these to abide, in us and in the
universe. So the heart affirms God as long as it finds meaning and
awareness in life, even if the head denies him, seeing how he
resists reduction to rational proofs. The worst prospect here, for
Unamuno, is that of a heart that does not affirm life, that does not
want consciousness or purpose (such as our humanity requires) to
abide.
¿Qué
sería un universo sin conciencia alguna que lo reflejase y lo
conociese? ¿Qué sería la razón objetivada, sin voluntad ni
sentimiento? Para nosotros lo mismo que la nada; mil veces más
pavoroso que ella.
Si
tal supuesto llega a ser realidad, nuestra vida carece de valor y de
sentido.
No
es, pues, necesidad racional, sino angustia vital, lo que nos lleva a
creer en Dios. Y creer en Dios es ante todo y sobre todo, he de
repetirlo, sentir hambre de Dios, hambre de divinidad, sentir su
ausencia y vacío, querer que Dios exista. Y es querer salvar la
finalidad humana del Universo. Porque hasta podría llegar uno a
resignarse a ser absorbido por Dios si en una Conciencia se funda
nuestra conciencia, si es la conciencia el fin del Universo.
«Dijo
el malvado en su corazón: no hay Dios.» Y así es en verdad. Porque
un justo puede decirse en su cabeza: ¡Dios no existe! Pero en el
corazón sólo puede decírselo el malvado. No creer que haya Dios o
creer que no le haya, es una cosa; resignarse a que no le haya, es
otra, aunque inhumana y horrible; pero no querer que le haya, excede
a toda otra monstruosidad moral. Aunque de hecho los que reniegan de
Dios es por desesperación de no encontrarlo.
What
would a universe be, if it lacked any consciousness to reflect and
know itself? What rational and objective purpose would it have in view,
without will or feeling? For us, its purpose would amount to
nothing—nay, an emptiness even more terrifying than nothing.
If
the foregoing ever comes to pass, then our life must lack worth and
sense.
This
shows that it is not rational necessity but vital anguish that drives
us to believe in God. Believing in God, before and after all else, is
feeling hunger for God, as I keep saying: hunger for divinity, whose
absence we feel acutely, wanting God to exist that he may fill it. We
want to save the human purpose of the universe. For we might almost
resign ourselves to being absorbed by God, if this meant adding or subsuming our consciousness to some greater Awareness—if we
could rest assured that consciousness were the final purpose and end
of the universe.
“The
wicked man saith in his heart, There is no God” (†). And
so it is, in truth. For a just man might say in his head, “God does
not exist!” But only the wicked can utter this thought in his
heart. Believing that God exists or doesn't is one thing. Resigning
oneself to his nonexistence is another, one that drives us beyond our
humanity and causes us to shudder. But not even wanting his
existence, failing to desire it, exceeds every other moral
monstrosity. In actuality, those who deny God usually do so in
despair, after they have failed to find him.
---
(†)
Unamuno quotes this phrase with no attribution. Something like it
appears more than once in the Psalms (13.1 & 52.1 in the Vulgate,
14.1 & 53.1 in the Septuagint), where Unamuno's wicked or
accursed man (malvado) is more literally witless or
stupid (insipiens, stultus, ἄφρων). This rendering
won't quite do for Unamuno's purposes, as he wants to make logical
sense something the wicked man uses: a tool of the head that we
employ badly when our heart is accursed or emotionally misshapen, as
that of a malvado would be.