Try & condemn yourself. Seneca, Epistles 3.28.8-10
Seneca
concludes his epistle with an anecdote about Socrates, and an
aphorism from Epicurus (as usual). The closing analogy: Lucilius is
invited to hold court against himself in his own mind, prosecuting
his moral failures first, then judging them, and finally pleading in
his own defense.
Triginta
inquis tyranni Socraten circumsteterunt nec potuerunt
animum eius infringere. Quid interest quot domini sint? servitus
una est; hanc qui contempsit in quanta libet turba dominantium liber
est.
Tempus
est desinere, sed si prius portorium solvero. Initium est salutis
notitia peccati. Egregie mihi hoc dixisse videtur Epicurus; nam
qui peccare se nescit corrigi non vult; deprehendas te oportet
antequam emendes. Quidam vitiis gloriantur: tu existimas aliquid de
remedio cogitare qui mala sua virtutum loco numerant? Ideo quantum
potes te ipse coargue, inquire in te; accusatoris primum partibus
fungere, deinde iudicis, novissime deprecatoris; aliquando te
offende. Vale.
“The
thirty tyrants surrounded Socrates (†),” you tell me, “but they
could not break his spirit!” What does it matter how many lords
there be? Bondage is one and the same, in any case: once a man has
learned to despise it, he is free no matter how many would-be masters compass him round about.
Time
for me to take leave of you, but only after I pay postage. “The
beginning of prosperity is noticing that you have made a mistake.”
Epicurus really got it right with this aphorism, I think, for a
person unaware of faults does not want to be corrected. You must
catch yourself red-handed before you set about fixing what is wrong
with your character. Certain people pride themselves on their vices:
do you suppose they give any thought to curing defects whose evil
they esteem as though it were virtue? Therefore, you must try and
convict yourself in the court of your own mind, as much as possible.
First take the role of prosecutor, then that of judge, leaving the
role of advocate till the very end. Be sure to offend yourself,
sometimes. Farewell.
---
(†)
When Athens lost the Peloponnesian War (404 BCE), the Spartans
deposed her democratic regime and replaced it with an executive
committee of thirty rulers, later dubbed tyrants because of their
cruel administration. They often ordered citizens to aid them in
arresting, executing, and dispoiling enemies of their government.
Socrates was one of five ordered to arrest Leon of Salamis. He and
the others were summoned to the Rotunda to receive this mission
directly from the thirty, but he went home afterward instead of
assisting the arrest. This could easily have cost him his life
(Apology 32).