Making excuses. Seneca, Epistles 3.29.4-8

Seneca shares his plan for approaching Marcellinus, a friend with some obnoxious habits that Seneca would like him to lose. He imagines how the conversation between himself and Marcellinus will go: Marcellinus will avoid all Seneca's appeals to philosophy by pointing out the historical existence of morally corrupt philosophers. Seneca will persist in recommending reform, and the issue of the conversation will be that Marcellinus is at least no worse, & maybe better, than before.


Marcellinum nostrum ego nondum despero; etiam nunc servari potest, sed si cito illi manus porrigitur. Est quidem periculum ne porrigentem trahat; magna in illo ingeni vis est, sed iam tendentis in pravum. Nihilominus adibo hoc periculum et audebo illi mala sua ostendere. Faciet quod solet: advocabit illas facetias quae risum evocare lugentibus possunt, et in se primum, deinde in nos iocabitur; omnia quae dicturus sum occupabit. Scrutabitur scholas nostras et obiciet philosophis congiaria, amicas, gulam; ostendet mihi alium in adulterio, alium in popina, alium in aula; ostendet mihi lepidum philosophum Aristonem, qui in gestatione disserebat: hoc enim ad edendas operas tempus exceperat. De cuius secta cum quaereretur, Scaurus ait utique Peripateticus non est. De eodem cum consuleretur Iulius Graecinus, vir egregius, quid sentiret, non possum inquit tibi dicere; nescio enim quid de gradu faciat, tamquam de essedario interrogaretur. Hos mihi circulatores qui philosophiam honestius neglexissent quam vendunt in faciem ingeret. Constitui tamen contumelias perpeti: moveat ille mihi risum, ego fortasse illi lacrimas movebo, aut si ridere perseverabit, gaudebo tamquam in malis quod illi genus insaniae hilare contigerit. Sed non est ista hilaritas longa: observa, videbis eosdem intra exiguum tempus acerrime ridere et acerrime rabere.

Propositum est aggredi illum et ostendere quanto pluris fuerit cum multis minoris videretur. Vitia eius etiam si non excidero, inhibebo; non desinent, sed intermittent. Fortasse autem et desinent, si intermittendi consuetudinem fecerint. Non est hoc ipsum fastidiendum, quoniam quidem graviter affectis sanitatis loco est bona remissio.


I've not yet lost hope for our Marcellinus. Even now he can be saved, but helping hands must reach him soon. There is some risk that he may drag down the one who comes to save him, for his character holds great power within, though it is currently bent towards wickedness. Still, I shall brave this danger and dare to show him his faults. He will do what he always does: summon those sarcastic quips he uses to coax laughs from even the saddest folk, and make jokes at his own expense before turning them against us. Everything I mean to say: he'll get there first. He'll make a thorough study of our schools, warding off philosophers by cataloguing their vices: gifts, girlfriends, gluttony. He'll show me masters compromised, caught in adultery, low taverns, or the court of some powerful lord. He'll show off that smooth philosopher Ariston (†), who used to give teachings in a litter. By this means the master made more time for eating! When someone asked Scaurus what school this splendid fellow belonged to, he says, “Definitely not the Peripatetics!” The same question was put to Julius Graecinus, and that excellent man replied, “I cannot tell you, for I don't even know what rank he achieved”—as though he were a gladiator. Marcellinus will fling these hacks in my face, two-bit peddlers who certainly ignored more philosophy than they ever sold. But I've decided to suffer through the abuse. He might get me to laugh, and perhaps I shall move him to tears. Or maybe he will manage to laugh the whole time, and my solace will be the suffering that accompanies that particular brand of madness. Its good cheer does not last: watch closely, and you will see the same mad fools go from laughter to furious despair in the blink of an eye.

My plan is to approach Marcellinus and show how much better off he'd be if he made less of an impression on others. Even if I don't succeed in rooting out his vices, I will inhibit them. They will not cease all at once, but perhaps they will become less consistent. And they might even cease, if inconsistency becomes a habit. There is no cause for annoyance either way, since remission can be as good as a cure to those seriously afflicted.


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(†) Ariston of Chios, a skeptical philosopher who studied with Zeno, the Stoic. Contemporaries—among them Cicero and the praetors Marcus Aemilius Scaurus and Lucius Julius Graecinus—remember him for his lack of self-control (cf. Cicero, de Finibus 4.40). Scaurus' joke hinges on the Greek word peripatetic meaning ambulatory, referring to the habit some philosophers had of walking while teaching.