Getting old. Seneca, Epistles 1.12.1-3

How does Seneca age? Slowly, he thinks, until life shows him otherwise.

Quocumque me verti, argumenta senectutis meae video. Veneram in suburbanum meum et querebar de impensis aedificii dilabentis. Ait vilicus mihi non esse neglegentiae suae vitium, omnia se facere, sed villam veterem esse. Haec villa inter manus meas crevit: quid mihi futurum est, si tam putria sunt aetatis meae saxa? Iratus illi proximam occasionem stomachandi arripio. Apparet inquam has platanos neglegi: nullas habent frondes. Quam nodosi sunt et retorridi rami, quam tristes et squalidi trunci! Hoc non accideret si quis has circumfoderet, si irrigaret. Iurat per genium meum se omnia facere, in nulla re cessare curam suam, sed illas vetulas esse. Quod intra nos sit, ego illas posueram, ego illarum primum videram folium. Conversus ad ianuam quis est iste? inquam iste decrepitus et merito ad ostium admotus? foras enim spectat. Unde istunc nanctus es? quid te delectavit: alienum mortuum tollere? At ille non cognoscis me? inquit: ego sum Felicio, cui solebas sigillaria afferre; ego sum Philositi vilici filius, deliciolum tuum. Perfecte inquam iste delirat: pupulus, etiam delicium meum factus est? Prorsus potest fieri: dentes illi cum maxime cadunt.

Wherever I turn, I see proofs of my old age. Just the other day I came to my villa outside the city and began complaining to my steward of expenses incurred to repair its collapse. He affirms that this is no fault of his administration, that he takes proper care of everything, but the villa is old. This villa has grown up between my hands: what is my future, if even stones of my age are falling to pieces? Peeved, I seize upon the next closest cause for complaint. "It seems that these plane trees are neglected: they have no leaves. How knotted and withered their branches! How sad and squalid their trunks! This would not occur if someone were digging around them and irrigating." He swears to me by my genius (‡) that he is doing all these things, that he never interrupts his care, but they are old, decrepit. Between us: I planted them myself, and saw their first leaves. Finally I turn to the door. "Who is that fellow?" I inquire. "The senile one, quite rightly posted to the door, as he is certainly looking to make the last long journey. Where did you find him? What pleased you in his outlook? Were you perhaps replacing someone dead?" Quoth the doorman: "Don't you know me? I'm Felicio! We used to exchange gifts during Saturnalia (†). I'm the son of your steward Philositus: we were best friends!" "Great," I respond. "He's crazy. This little man was my best friend? It's possible, I guess, for he has lost almost all his teeth."

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(‡) Like others in their cultural and historical environment, Romans believed that a guardian spirit kept watch over you from the moment of birth. Birthdays and other personally significant events involve cult-offerings to these spirits (genii, dii genitales). Compare Greek cult offered to δαίμονες (cf. Hesiod) and especially the γενέθλιος δαίμων (Pindar). Also the cult of saints in Catholic and Orthodox Christianity.

(†) The sigillaria were little images made of pottery, usually fashioned to look like gods or monsters. They were exchanged as gifts during the Saturnalia, a Roman festival marking the end of the calendar year. According to Macrobius (1.10), this festival was originally held on the 19th of December. Augustus extended it to incorporate the period between the 17th and the 19th, and then some days called Sigillaria (after these images) were added to make the festival seven days long: 17-23 December. Macrobius has one of his characters suggest that the tradition of these images originates with ancient people offering candles and little masks to Saturn, god of the harvest, who accepted them in lieu of human sacrifice (Pelasgos ... coepisse Saturno cereos potius accendere et in sacellum Ditis arae Saturni cohaerens oscilla quaedam pro suis capitibus ferre: 1.11.48). In other words: the end of the year is a hungry demon who wants your soul, so you give him a jack-o'-lantern instead!