Changing with integrity. Unamuno, Life 1.13

Unamuno explains how we change ourselves: we must not suppose that we can make ourselves entirely different overnight with one decision. Instead, change comes via the gradual, careful introduction of new things into the stable form of our character, which must retain some continuity with its past if we are to be whole, sane, healthy. You can hear this passage <here>.


Más de una vez se ha dicho que todo hombre desgraciado prefiere ser el que es, aun con sus desgracias, a ser otro sin ellas. Y es que los hombres desgraciados, cuando conservan la sanidad en su desgracia, es decir, cuando se esfuerzan por perseverar en su ser, prefieren la desgracia a la no existencia. De mí sé decir, que  cuando era un mozo, y aun de niño, no lograron conmoverme las patéticas pinturas que del infierno se me hacían, pues ya desde entonces nada se me aparecía tan horrible como la nada misma. Era una furiosa hambre de ser, un apetito de divinidad como nuestro ascético dijo.

Irle a uno con la embajada de que se haga otro, es irle con la embajada de que deje de ser él. Cada cual defiende su personalidad, y sólo acepta un cambio en su modo de pensar o de sentir en cuanto este cambio pueda entrar en la unidad de su espíritu y engarzar en la continuidad de él; en cuanto ese cambio pueda armonizarse e integrarse con todo el resto de su modo de ser, pensar y sentir, y pueda a la vez enlazarse a sus  recuerdos. Ni a un hombre, ni a un pueblo—que es, en cierto sentido, un hombre también—se le puede exigir un cambio que rompa la unidad y la continuidad de su persona. Se le puede cambiar mucho, hasta por completo casi; pero dentro de continuidad.


More than once it has been said that every unlucky wretch prefers to remain himself, even with his ill fortune, rather than improve his lot by becoming someone else. The fact is that even wretches, to the extent that they remain sane in their misfortune—that is, to the extent that they seek to continue in their being—prefer wretchedness to nonexistence. For my own part, I know that when I was young—even when I was a little child—none of the pathetic pictures they made me of hell had any effect upon me at all, for even then there was nothing so terrifying to me as the prospect of nothingness itself. I had a raving hunger for being, a wild longing for God, as our ascetic says (†).

To go to someone with the instruction that he make himself into another, is to tell him that he must cease to be himself. Every person defends his personality, accepting changes to his manner of thinking or feeling only insofar as these are capable of entering into the unity of his spirit, and conforming to the continuity that is himself. The change must harmonize and integrate with all the rest of his manner of being, thinking, and feeling, and it must also be able to bind itself to his memory. You cannot demand from a person, or a people—who are in some sense also a person—change that breaks the unity and continuity of their character. They can change a great deal, almost completely, but only within the bounds of continuity.

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(†) A reference to John of the Cross (1542-1591), the famous Spanish mystic. Born to a family of Jewish converts to Christianity, Juan de Yepes y Álvarez grew up in Old Castile (Castilla la Vieja) in desperate poverty, losing his father early to death and later his brother Luis. He attended a Jesuit school in Medina del Campo, and upon graduation joined the Carmelites (Ordo Fratrum Beatissimæ Virginis Mariæ de Monte Carmel), among whom he studied at the University of Salamanca and met Teresa de Ávila, who set him upon the path of renewing the order that he would pursue until his death of erypsipelas. He is remembered for his writings, especially his poetry, which included a Spiritual Canticle whose thirteenth song depicts a lover, the human soul, comparing her beloved, God, to a delicious meal (among other things):

    Mi Amado, las montañas,
    los valles solitarios nemorosos,
    las ínsulas extrañas,
    los ríos sonorosos,
    el silbo de los aires amorosos,
    la noche sosegada
    en par de los levantes de la aurora,
    la música callada,
    la soledad sonora,
    la cena que recrea y enamora.

    My beloved is the mountains
    The vales with woods bedight
    And many far-off islands
    Resounding rivers' might.
    The whisper loving wind hath blown
    A quiet, calming night
    Peer of dawns he rises
    A song that lingers slight
    Wilderness that warbles
    A dinner that delights.